According to the American Psychological Association, chronic stress can be linked to the six leading causes of death: heart disease, cancer, lung ailments, accidents, cirrhosis of the liver and suicide. And more than 75 percent of all physician office visits are for stress-related ailments and complaints.

That sounds really disheartening, but let me give you some encouragement!

Not all stress has to be endured. While we do have stressors in our lives that are out of our control, we also have plenty that is well within our control. Self-induced stress might be the easiest kind to eliminate and, therefore, enable us to run the race set before us with more ease and joy.

What kind of stress could I be talking about? Here are some examples…

I expected my children to be my version of perfect…and they aren’t.

I expected a different version of success for my writing and blogging.

When I was younger, I expected a degree from college and marriage to be the answer to a perfect life…surprise! It wasn’t!

I expected other people to do the right thing in certain situations, but they didn’t.

Expectations are self-induced stressors.

A great deal of stress doesn’t come from real situations that keep us from finding the life we want. It comes from distorted views of what life should be.

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 (ESV)

Take heart, Jesus has overcome the world. We are now able to live in new ways. These ways can bring glory to Jesus and health to our hearts, minds, and spirit.

We can reframe our expectations with gospel-informed ones.

Have you ever noticed how a brand new modern or beautiful frame can change how a picture looks in your home or even how an entire wall or room can look? Reframing our expectations with ones that are gospel-informed can change our view of the situation.

Following are three kinds of expectations that I have experienced that produce stress along with ways in which they can be reframed.

“Should” Thinking – Believing things “should” be done a specific way. For example, we believe that other people should always do the right thing, be kind, respectful, and polite. When they aren’t, we feel frustrated, angered, or hurt which heightens our stress. The truth is, we cannot force anyone to live up to our expectations. We can only live up to them ourselves, and even we are not perfect! We also can make choices to live differently and to respond in a gospel-informed way to that person. We can choose to respond out of our flesh in stress or by the Spirit in love. And because Jesus enables us to live in new ways, we can choose to walk by the Spirit.

“But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.” – Galations 5:16

Knee Jerk Reaction Thinking – Jumping to conclusions and expecting we know accurately what other people are thinking about us and what their planning to do. These expectations have the ability to cause a colossal amount of unneeded stress. If I had a dime for how often I’ve “known” what another person is thinking or planning and then started thinking through my own responses, I’d probably have a small fortune. It’s all a waste, it can hurt others tremendously, and it’s also sinful.

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.” – Matthew 7:1-2

We are not to assume we know everything there is to know about a person’s heart or thinking. As sinners, we are quite able to assume the worst of people, size them up, and think we have them figured out. Sadly, I must admit that I’ve been the receiver of assumptions…and the giver. Neither positions are pretty!  Because Jesus calls us to not look upon others with haughty, judging eyes, we can trust He enables and equips us to do just that. If we have been forgiven, loved, and delighted in by the Lord, we should strive to emulate the same.

Problem Replaying – Continually meditating on or replaying in the mind a hurtful or painful past experience. Our bodies, minds, and spirits will respond to these memories just as easily currently as they did in the past, creating a stress response over and over. It’s as if we’re constantly in a state of expecting the experience again. Is there something lovely, pure, or praiseworthy that you can turn your mind to when you catch yourself replaying something less than edifying to your soul?

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” – Philippians 4:8

Because of the good news of the gospel, there are so many praiseworthy things we can overlay as a frame over our challenging life circumstances.

Will you join me in re-framing expectations this week? Laying the gospel and all of the wonderful truths about Jesus and His provision for us over our expectations of life is well within our control. We receive grace to grow in all of this as we yield to the Holy Spirit’s work in our lives.

“…for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” – 2 Timothy 1:7 (ESV)

What are some other life stressors that you can control besides expectations? I know I have a life-long work to do in this area!

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