“More than thirty-five years of counseling have led me to the statistical conclusion: approximately one out of one people struggle with anger.”

Robert D. Jones, Calming Your Heart, 31-Day Devotionals for Life

I know we all struggle with our responses to feelings of anger, bitterness, irritation, and complaining, but it’s still a relief to me to hear a seasoned counselor reiterate that reality to me.

Anger is not unique to any of us.

Yes, anger is not just common, but normal to the human condition.

“…anger is not a problem to solve. It’s a human capacity – like sex, happiness, and sorrow. It’s a complex human response to a complex world. And like all human capacities and responses, it sometimes works well, but too often goes bad. Anger creates problems. But having and expressing the right kind of anger in the right way is a good goal.”

David Powlison, Good and Angry

This quote, too, is a relief to me. Finally overcoming anger once and for all is not a legitimate goal because it is part of our human capacity. We must learn to live with it well.

What are we to do?

There are many actions we might be advised to implement like breathing slowly and counting to ten, but what might be the primary initial implementation when anger arises in us as Christians?

Let’s look at James 5:13

“Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise.”

James 5:13

In this passage, we see two ends of the spectrum of human experience: times of difficulty and times of goodness. All of our experiences will land somewhere in this spectrum.

At either end of the spectrum, we are called to go to God.

There is no time at which God doesn’t call us to Himself.

Let nothing hinder you from responding positively to God’s invitation to you to come to Him. Anxiety, sadness, anger, irritation, and even joy are never reasons to keep us from Him. He wants us to run to Him in all states.

There are many ways we can handle our anger, but the most important thing to utilize is to remember that if we are in Christ, we have access to God. We can boldly approach Him.

“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

Hebrews 4:16

Will you join me this week in asking, “What is my knee-jerk response to the feeling of anger?”

Another question that could be coupled with this is, “Who or what do I run to when I’m angry?”

Do you ever, like me, forget the grace available through your union with Christ? If you are in Him, you have access to the Father and the throne of grace and you can approach boldly in your time of need. It is there that we remember the grace given poured out to cover ALL our sins. If we have been given such grace, how much more then should we offer it to others? As we remember this, we can cry out and honestly voice our complaint, we can ask for the Holy Spirit’s enabling help to behave in new ways, we can confess our sins and receive grace when we’ve already delivered the wrong response, and we can grow in trust as we remember truths about Jesus and who we are in Him.

As we do this, we can expect that, over time, our knee-jerk reactions to the feeling of anger will involve less hasty, hurtful responses, and more fervent remembering and running to the throne of Jesus where we will encounter life-transforming grace.

A prayer about anger –

Lord, we confess that we don’t always run straight to you in our angry responses in this complex world. We handle our feelings in our own ways sometimes, or even often. We need your help, your grace, your mercy. Please help us to keep turning to you in our full range of feelings about the world we live in. May running to you be our knee-jerk reaction to the feeling of anger. You are our Good Shepherd who guides us and helps us. You have us rest in green pastures, you lead us by still water, you tell us that YOU ARE living water and that out of the hearts of those who believe in you will flow rivers of living water. May that be so. Restore our souls to a place of refreshment by your Spirit. Please do that for us today we pray. Amen.

Do you want to consider how your thinking impacts emotions? Please check out my new podcast, Asking is Loving!

Are you signed up for my monthly e-mail, “Encouragements to Turn Toward Grace”? When you sign up, you will receive a free digital booklet I created called: Asking is Loving, Powerful Questions to Ask Yourself & Your Loved Ones. It’s full of great coaching questions divided into chapters focused on questions for yourself, your spouse, your children, and your friends. You’ll also receive a free scripture printable of Proverbs 4: 23 and a free printable of the Ten Daily Biblical Truths that I use regularly.

If you would like assistance and accountability in forming new habits around anger, I would love to work with you on that. I offer a free initial consultation and affordable coaching to women on Zoom or in-person. Please visit my website (linked to the logo below) or send me a message so that I can answer any questions you have about coaching.

amy@cornerstonechristcenteredcoaching.com

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