The kids and I sprawled out on the partly shaded trampoline with our books. The gentle, spring wind blew magnolia petals onto us. The sunshine and perfect, sixty-five-degree temperature were just too much for them, though. Every time I attempted to move us toward our homeschool lessons, they giggled or tried to insert a joke. Once again, I had tried to create a great school memory but feelings of failure were creeping in.
My husband, though a ways away, could sense that I was getting frustrated in getting nowhere with school. In an attempt to help, he hollered from at least one hundred feet away, “Choose! Choose!.”
All three of us heard, “Shoes! Shoes!” I couldn’t help but join in their laughter for we all couldn’t understand why he was telling us to, perhaps, wear shoes while on the trampoline. Just as soon as we laughed, we also caught our misunderstanding. Soon, his real words had an impact on us. We realized he was calling us, as he often does, to choose what kind of day we’re going to have. We began to work intently on finishing our work so we could enjoy the moment and the rest of the day.
His words reduced the stress. I was on the verge of either making a lasting beautiful memory of doing school on the trampoline under the magnolia tree or ruining the moment with frustrated venting. My kids were on the verge of throwing their mama over the edge of frustration or helping her enjoy the choice of learning outside.
Words have a profound impact on us.
ALL of our words (and the tone of them), spoken out loud or in our minds, have a profound impact on reducing or increasing stress in ourselves and others.
Our own words are another powerful stressor that we are fully in control of.
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” -Proverbs 18:21
Everything we say promotes life or death and you and I are the main recipients of those words. My words of life for me and others bring light and life to our lives. My words of death for me and others bring darkness and stress to our lives.
How would you characterize your own speech to yourself? Though we all fail at times, I’m sure my Christian brothers and sisters do strive to speak kind, comforting, gentle, caring, and positive words to each other. Is that true of your words to your own self, though? Do you speak to yourself the way you strive to speak to others?
The truth for me is, no. I don’t consistently speak to myself as well as I speak to others and I need to make changes in that. How about you?
If you find yourself answering the same as me, I have good news for you. Our Savior is The Light of the World. He would love to shed light on the dark areas of our speaking and thinking and bring healing. Our neediness in this area is an opportunity to draw near to Him.
If you answered yes, you’re not alone. I’ve never met a human being that hasn’t struggled with their tongue.
“How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.” -James 3:5-12
No human can truly and perfectly tame the tongue. In fact, James also says in the verses just before these that one who can tame the tongue is perfect. We will never be perfect on this side of heaven. As long as we are on this earth, we’ll be learning how to tame the tongue.
That means that as long as we’re on this earth, we need the help and grace of our Savior, Jesus Christ.
In my own challenges in this area, I’ve grown most when I’ve been willing to allow the Lord to show me the root of my words.
There’s always a false belief or heart issue that is working alongside the tongue to churn out life and death words.
“Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” -Matthew 12:34
Would you, along with me, ask Him to show the underground roots to the words you speak? Would you ask Him where you might be needing awareness and transformation in the following areas of speech to yourself and others?
-Hateful and hurtful words
-Critical and judgemental words
-Rude and inconsiderate words
-Whining and complaining words
“Let no corrupt words proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification this it may impart grace to the hearers.” -Ephesians 4:29
Turn with me, once again, to The Light of Life…to Graceland!
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Yes, I want to come with you on this journey, and this especially jumped out at me: “Would you, along with me, ask Him to show the underground roots to the words you speak?” Oh, how He does uncover those roots, and deals with not just the surface, but the depth of our hearts. May I let Him keep moving me along that path. Blessings to you!
Yes, He does always show us the root of our sin when we ask Him to and when we cooperate. I hope for the same…of continuing to move along that path, Bettie!
Thanks for the great reminder! 😊
Hi Ruth, thanks for visiting!
Wow, Amy! This was a timely post for me!!! I love your husband’s reminder in the simple word, “Choose!” I may just write that word on a post it and put it on my mirror. I need that reminder to CHOOSE what day I am going to have!! Stopping by from Kelly Ballarie and Friends!
Hi Emily! Writing “Choose” on a post-it note sounds like a great idea! My hubby isn’t always around to remind me! Thanks for visiting from Kelly’s!
Amy, we visited our daughter’s church this past weekend and the message was titled “ME AND MY BIG MOUTH!” Pastor Paul talked about our words being wounds. It was so powerful and now this confirmation. Set a watch on my mouth Lord that I might not sin against You. Great post visiting from God Sized Dreams.
Thank you so much for sharing that this post served as sort of a “confirmation!” I love it when the Lord convicts my heart like that—using multiple people in a short amount of time. Blessings to us all as we seek the Lord to set a watch on our mouths!
Amy, yes, a timely post for me as well. Every morning is a hectic rush to get out the door before the bus beats us to the end of the road. I know that I diminished my little girl’s sweet spirit this morning as she sleepily went through the motions that I commanded too harshly. Not the way I want to leave her and have her start her day. I will remember this tomorrow as I CHOOSE to use positive encouragement!!! thank you sister!
Thanks for visiting and sharing, Laura! It’s so hard to choose the right tone and words when we’re rushed. I cringed as I read your comment because I have done the same and know the regret. I pray the Lord will help us all to choose wisely how we respond to stress…especially with our kids!
Hi Amy, This is something we all need to hear every now and then. Thank you for the gentle reminder to speak kind and loving words. Have a blessed day!
Thanks for visiting! I appreciate your blogging friendship!
Such truth. Life and death, and we get to choose. I wish I could say I’ve always chosen wisely. I love how life and death are both represented. So many times we beat ourselves up when we humanly choose the “death” option, but what a privilege to have the opportunity to choose life as well. (And, I love your hubby’s phrase—choose. Great motto for life.) P.S.) Have I ever mentioned that we homeschool too? We’ve already graduated our two adult sons, but we’re still homeschooling our 16 year old. 🙂 Love the idea of doing school underneath a blossoming magnolia tree. 🙂
Your trampoline story reminds me of a thing I was doing to try to make a memory that actually went all wrong. I was working with my kids to make a Christmas tree skirt that would be a keepsake for us (also homeschoolers) but i got so frustrated with the project and the lack of help and patience the kids had that when i finally finished it, all it reminded us of was a day when mom got really mad. oops. a good reminder your husband gave you… and one for all of us now…. choose, choose choose! thanks!
It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one who has these moments! Thanks for sharing! That’s another thing my husband talks about with us. Choose what kind of memory you’re going to have. It’s so heartbreaking to think some of the best moments in life might be tainted with a memory of mama getting mad! I’m pretty confident though, that we can reclaim them by asking for forgiveness and grace. Blessings to your homeschool and fun memory making!
I was actually misquoting that verse because I was used to watching what I said. i was saying life and death but death and life is right, odd how death appears to be our native language.
Wow–death as our native language—that’s poignant! Yet—God is so good to give us a new language. If only we choose to use it! I guess we’ll be practicing that and learning that language over our lifetime!
I always did want to learn a new language, thanks Amy.
I am super excited to be finding your blog today. Hopping over from Jennifer Lee’s linkup. I have actually written a bible study on this topic. 🙂 I am going to go explore your site some more.
Thanks for visiting! I’ll hop over to visit you as well! I’d love to learn more about your bible study!
I love that – choose. I tell this to my boys often – we have a choice- even though we may feel a certain way, we have a choice with the words that are in our minds and come out of our mouth. Great post and reminder today!
Yes–sometimes I think that learning to make a choice about our feelings is as important as anything else we’ll learn as life lessons. The choices we make with our words and in our minds determine so much of life. Thanks for visiting!
Than you for this post, Amy! The Lord has been dealing with me about critical words. I need the Holy Spirit to set a guard over my mouth!
I need a guard…always!!!! 🙂 It’s comforting to know that even God’s Word says it’s pretty much impossible to totally tame the tongue. Such a small thing indeed shows us our need for a Savior!