I’ve recently changed how I’m posting on my blog. Starting this week, I’m going to start writing at least one additional article each week. As usual, I’ll write a post on helping ourselves turn toward gospel-centered thinking under the “Coach Yourself” area of the blog. I’ll also write an additional post on the same theme under the “Coach Your Loved Ones” area of the blog. This article will be meant to inspire you to think through how to coach your family and friends in turning to Jesus as they experience life’s challenges. This means that you may, as a family or in an important relationship, be able to experience the Lord’s help together in the same areas.

As you know, a person’s attitudes both create and reduce stress!

Last week I continued a series on Seeking the Savior in the Stress. I focused on how our attitudes can cause stress. When we are able to model turning to our Savior and choosing a biblical attitude in our stress we help our loved ones do the same. If you haven’t read the article and would like to be inspired to bring Jesus into your own stress-inducing attitudes, you can read it here:

If you find yourself in the midst of an attitude meltdown with someone you love, here are some ways you can bring some of the points from the above article into your relationship.

Just like you and me, your loved one’s first response upon seeing a bad attitude may be to strive for an attitude change, but let’s help them turn to Jesus first!

You could share a verse like this with them:

“Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” -Hebrews 4:14-16

Pray with them by helping them admit their need and ask for help. This can be done in a humble way asking for help for yourself as well. As we draw near to do that, we and our loved ones will receive helping mercy and grace.

At that time, we can also pray for awareness if they don’t yet know what triggered the attitudes or what attitudes triggered their reaction.

We want to be careful to allow the Holy Spirit to do His work in their life. We don’t need to force them to confess sin or repent. Helping them to approach the throne of God is an amazing first step and an amazing way that God can use you in the life of a loved one.

Helping them to see the process of turning from themselves to God’s Word and His greatness can be used by the Lord to renew their hearts and minds.

As we prayerfully invite Jesus into the situation, we can also bring God’s own words into the situation. Is there a verse you know or topical verses you could look up to help your loved one in their time of need?

We must be careful here as we don’t want to beat them over the head with scripture. But parents, especially, can and should point children toward helpful scriptures. Two areas of scripture that touch the root of most attitude issues are contentment and thankfulness. Here are a couple of helpful verses:

“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” -Philippians 4:11-13

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”        -1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Our attitude is, perhaps, one of the most powerful and difficult things to control in our lives. Humbly admitting that ourselves and walking with our loved ones in their own attitude crisis will be an amazing transformational process. As we realize our weaknesses together, we can take joy in Christ’s strength and continue to cooperate by looking at God’s Word while trusting that, over time, He will heal and transform us.

Another great way to cooperate in addition to looking at God’s Word is to ask ourselves questions.  Questions will help us and them to think deeply about beliefs which impact behavior. Great questions help us get to the root of attitude and to move forward. Here are two questions for the week on attitude to help you coach yourself and others toward walking with Christ:

What circumstances set off this unwanted attitude?

Has this happened before (is there a pattern)?

What “alarm bells” go off when this attitude is set off (a feeling, and bodily reaction, a thought)?

Allow the answer to these questions to, perhaps, lead you into another time of prayer asking for God’s help.

I’d love to know what kinds of verses have helped you in an attitude crisis! Can you think of any other questions that would be helpful? Please share in the comments below!

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