Heavy eyelids open to the early morning light. My body is asleep but my mind and soul are awake. For the first time in days, I might have an hour or two alone. Since leaving for vacation in this old RV, I’ve only found solitude in a bathroom the size of myself.
It’s worth it. Our longest trip ever in this almost thirty year old RV to venture to my family’s old vacation spot and to take my parents back there. We want to introduce my kids to the places I walked as a kid.
Vacations are not always vacations for moms though. Work may be increased when you camp and just a couple of hours of pure solitude in God’s beauty (what I long for most on vacation) might be impossible. Impossible if you don’t work for it.
So I snap the little alarm clock button down and plug in the coffee pot. My girl is still snuggled deep down under warm blankets in the cool of the morning and there she will stay for a few more hours. Lord willing, we will both get what we crave most. I ask my husband, tucked away in the loft above the cab, if he minds. He mumbles a no. I take his answer and run with it…even though I am not sure he is fully aware of what he’s giving up. A beautiful sunrise on the north shore of Minnesota.
I walk on the lake trail through flowering bushes, excited to meet the sunrise and my Lord. Just like in my younger years, I find a rock perfectly indented for me to recline in. I sip coffee and I wait for the first gleam of flourescent orange to peak over the Lake Superior. A rare moment on a Sunday morning for this pastor’s wife. How can I find what I need this Sunday morning on Lake Superior? What DO I need to keep going these next few days…weeks and months? What’s the one thing? The one thing that will soothe, comfort, prepare and strengthen me for the future? I toss these questions and thoughts to God.
There are a few people scattered across cobblestones waking to this morning light too. People who camped out on the shore braving the cool lake air and hard rocks just to experience beauty. I’m joined here with them. We’re all waiting for God’s splendor. We wait and I wonder if they are asking questions too. Maybe they also are looking to be strengthened as they look to return to normal everyday life.
I pick up a smooth round stone to throw into the abyss of Lake Superior. The largest freshwater lake, by surface area, in the world. I wonder if the others are watching me from behind and if they think, like me, in this humble moment, that my questions are like this little pebble being thrown in such a vast expanse of water. Skipping stones and throwing rocks was a constant activity just twelve hours ago with my boy but now…now I feel odd doing it alone. Like I’m throwing my questions right out to God in front of these spectators on the beach. I hold back from throwing it.
I decide to read a Psalm and I happen upon Psalm 93.
The Lord reigns; he is robed in majesty;
the Lord is robed; he has put on strength as his belt.
Yes, the world is established; it shall never be moved.
Your throne is established from of old;
you are from everlasting.
The floods have lifted up, O Lord,
the floods have lifted up their voice;
the floods lift up their roaring.
Mightier than the thunders of many waters,
mightier than the waves of the sea,
the Lord on high is mighty!
Your decrees are very trustworthy;
holiness befits your house,
O Lord, forevermore.
I sit into my rock chair, one smooth round stone jutting into that spot on my shoulder blade that always wants help. For a moment there is comfort and the strength of the rock encloses me. I watch and listen to the waves crash onto the beach. The waves that have been so mighty and relentless over time. I’ve seen evidence of it. The lighthouse built in response to shipwrecks and deaths due to their strength crashing on rocky shoreline. The relentless waves that long to knock us over as we search for the perfect stones to keep in our pockets. The cobblestones weathered and polished to smooth roundness. The soft driftwood aged to perfection in the churning waters. The rocks the kids sat on yesterday in order to be splashed by the force of water hitting them. The unending soothing roar I hear from my campsight. The Lord created this and the Lord is mightier.
God’s good power.
This one thing gives me comfort and I feel strengthened. Is it enough for the long haul though? The Lord is majestic, mighty, holy and sovereign. Will this sustain me through the changes and challenges ahead?
I see the first glint of powerful glow of the sun coming. Clouds filling up with a shade of orange.
Come what may, his decrees are trustworthy. Holiness trumps all. Forever. He is sovereign. He works powerfully in me, in His people and in all situations.
The Lord and His perfect righteousness reigns. He is robed in majesty. Strength is His belt. In this strength, He established the world and all that is in it. He sustains it, just as He establishes and sustains his throne. And although the floods lift up their voice and roar against my ears, I remember this. His throne is established. He is mightier than anything that goes on around me. His decrees are trustworthy. Holiness befits His house.
I remember that all that I need is in Him. HE is what I need. Jesus and all that He is and all that He provides. What I do in the coming months matters less than what He can and will do as I turn to Him in dependence.
This shoreline looks rugged and tough but the mighty waves shape it. May his mighty waves shape even me to look for HIS strength to operate out of, not my own.
What are you needing for everyday life?
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control…
Any of those?
Jesus has it all and will supply as we turn toward Him in each moment that we need it.
My Gospel Transformation ESV Bible study notes say, “His perfect sovereignty joined with absolute goodness answers every need for his people’s sustenance.”
“And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus” – Philippians 4:19-20.
The sun shows itself full over Lake Superior now. Burning orange fills the sky and reflects off of water and rocks.
Strengthened and emboldened in Christ, I pick up the stone again…this time I throw it.
Linking up with these lovely ladies and their blogs this week: