That sweet moment when you’re brought back to gospel sanity.
The truth, once again, falls fresh on your heart and mind and you feel like you’ve heard it anew. Like it is the most amazing fresh insight from God.
That it is for sure.
You know it must be from God because who longs for the beauty of death unless you have the Holy Spirit who brings just that?
Like the beauty of the yellow dying leaves changing and falling around me, my life could be similar.
As I die to myself a bit more, will I change too? Actually become more like Him…more beautiful?
I have been striving. Counting my own muscles…skills…abilities. Thinking about my brain’s abilities and lack of. Instead of God. Has God called me to homeschool or not? Has he called me to parent? Marriage? Has he called me to be a pastor’s wife? Has he called me to ministry of writing?
What has He called you to in this season of life?
Do you struggle, like me, with feeling like you can’t quite get some of these roles right? Maybe you long for them to be perfect and they’re not.
I am not sure what I’m seeking but it might be perfection from myself or approval from others. Perhaps it is my own approval. I am seeking more strength and an improved mind. Perhaps that last one is a good thing. But it can’t be the only thing. I need to first and foremost seek God to provide all that I need for that which He has called me to. Perhaps even come to understand and be OK with the fact that I can’t. I don’t have it. But say, “Come through for me, please.”
Instead of wondering and counting abilities. Perhaps I can just say this, “Lord, will you provide all I need this week for parenting well, loving my husband well, homeschooling well, studying well. writing well, ministering well.”
“I need you. I don’t have what it takes to do all of this and to do it well. But for some reason I feel called to all of these things to some degree. Help me to know how much and when. Help me to know how. Give me the brain and abilities to do it. Give me your joy. Your peace. Your clarity and organized thoughts. I don’t have it. But that is good. Because you are sufficient for me. When I am weak you are strong. Come through Lord. I yield.”
I was confronted with this quote by Tim Keller today:
“If you make anything else besides the real God your god, you’ll never find mercy from that god; it will always punish you. A false god can’t die for you if you fail it…it can only punish you and demand more from you.”
I heard this moments before taking communion. Before being strengthened by his body broken for me and blood shed for me.
As I took in the bread and wine, I was thankful to find mercy from the one true God.
Approval from anyone other than God will never be enough. Something tells me that if I could come up with enough strength on my own to do all I am called to do, it would never be enough. It would only punish me and demand more.
“May he grant you your heart’s desire
and fulfill all your plans!
May we shout for joy over your salvation,
and in the name of our God set up our banners!
May the Lord fulfill all your petitions!
Now I know that the Lord saves his anointed;
he will answer him from his holy heaven
with the saving might of his right hand.
Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.”
Linking up with these refreshing and inspiring sites this week: